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October 13 2017

12:22
0332 3765 500

ocfos:

diarrheaworldstarhiphop:

themachiavellian:

nunyabizni:

zelsbels:

nicholasjohnsrudheatstreet:

oh my god

please tell me this is a joke

please tell me that someone didn’t actually trade their car for szechuan sauce

please

I’m sorry Kat, it’s real

http://www.businessinsider.com/mcdonalds-sauce-szechuan-car-trade-2017-10

and now I crave death

How mad was this dude when he found out they are brining it back in December.

Lmaoooooo

how do you think that car owner feels now?

so a person traded the car in, and now he can get it for less than a dollar.

good game my dudes

12:21

mer-squared:

clientsfromhell:

Me: “How can I help you today, ma'am?”

Client: “Is e-mail internet”?

Me: “I beg your pardon?”

Client: “Is e-mail on the internet? I have no internet, can I still read my e-mail?”

Me: “Well yes, you must be able to get online to view your e-mail.”

Client: “Oh, dear. I can’t see my e-mail.”

Me: “Well, let’s see. Can you open up Internet Explorer for me and tell me what you see?”

Client: “Open what?”

Me: “Your browser, can you open up your browser?”

Client: “My…my…?”

Me: “What you click on when you want to browse the internet?”

Client: “I don’t use anything, I just turn my computer on, and it’s there.”

Me: “Okay. Do you see the little blue ‘e’ icon on your desktop?”

Client: “You mean I have to start writing letters again?”

Me: “I’m…what, I’m sorry?”

Client: “I don’t have any pens at my desk. I just want my e-mail again.”

Me: “No, ma'am, your desktop, on your computer screen. Can you click on the little blue ‘e’ on your computer screen for me?”

Client: “Oh, this is too much work. I’m too upset. Just send me my e-mail. Can’t you send me my e-mail?”

Me: “We…okay, ma'am. Can you tell me what color the lights are on your router right now?”

Client: “My what?”

Me: “The little box with green or possibly a couple of red lights on it right now - it’s most likely near your computer?”

Client: “Lights and boxes, boxes and lights, just get my e-mail for me.


Me: “My test is showing that you should be able to get online right now. Can you tell me what you’re seeing on your computer screen?”

Client: “It’s been the same thing for the last two hours.”

Me: “An error message?”

Client: “No, just stars. It’s black and moving stars.”

Me: “…Do you see your mouse next to your keyboard?”

Client: “Yes.”

Me: “Move it for me.”

Client: “Move it?”

Me: “Yes. Move it.”

Client: “My e-mail!”

This post gave me a fucking ulcer.

12:17
0333 da6c 500

nnetronomy:

the voice lines are great

12:16
12:16
0335 2902 500
12:16
0336 aaf1 500
12:15
He wasn’t expecting 4 Celestials, 5 Dragon Bloods, and whatever that fucking gecko is.
— About the enemy captain who was very surprised by his sudden death. (via yourplayersaidwhat)
12:15
0337 b0ad 500

artisticalassassin:

when u wear last year’s outfit again

12:14

Players versus DM...... literally.

yourplayersaidwhat:

Same D&D 5e campaign as the one from earlier, which I (DM) have taken to calling the [Fragmented Entelécheia] Campaign. This is the final session of the 1st season, as we all have to prepare for exams during the following weeks.

DM (me) tells players through in-game NPC (BBEG) they will be fighting a Titan (Essentially a Primordial).

Players: “Hey, we’ve had this axe of Titan-slaying since forever! Let’s hack the dumb thing to pieces!”

It seems the dice are on their side tonight, as the majority of them roll quite high on their initiative checks.

Excitedly, the players begin planning who does what and who attacks as the DM finishes setting the table of self-made maps and 2 cm scale origami miniatures (players are about 2 cm, roughly 1 inch, typical D&D stuff).

Players: “Ok, so there’s the BBEG, there’s his bodyguard, this is where we are, at the edge of the table… hey DM, where’s the Titan?”

DM, sitting closer to the other edge of the table then was strictly necessary, straightens his back, puffs his arms out a bit to appear larger then he actually is, and with a VERY slow gesture, indicates his whole body as an evil grin slowly spreads across his face.

Players: “…”

DM:
calmly turns on awesomely epic boss battle music…”

Players: “……”

DM:
casually looks around the table once “So…”

Players: “…… ……”

DM:
turns to first player on the initiative order “…What would you like to do?”

Players: “…ABORT! ABORT! CHANGE OF PLANS!!!”

12:12

We need a name

yourplayersaidwhat:

Dm: alright. Your party has now established themselves as an adventuring company. What will you name yourselves?

[after 30 minutes of debate]
Bard: we can’t decide.
Fighter(me): Dungeonnering And Treasure Acquisition Service Society.
Dm:… you want your company name to be D.A.T.A.S.S.
Fighter: Yes.
Bard: I like it.
Rouge: Me too
Sorceress: God damn it
Monk: I’m fine with it.

Dm: I hate you… I hate you so god damn much.

12:11

bamfbugboy:

In the Imperial Agent storyline, Vector Hyllus doesn’t say “I love you”, he says “What will be the next verse in our song?,” which roughly translates to “We know you can never join us. You can never share our thoughts. But if you can’t live in our world, we can live in yours, forever,” and I think that’s beautiful.

In the Jedi Knight storyline, Kira Carsen doesn’t say “I love you,” she says, “Eat lightsaber jerk,” which roughly translates to “SHWINGVRRRRRM AAAAAHGHGMFJSAHHGHFSDFJ” and “I’m about to beat your record, boss,” and I think that’s beautiful.

In the Sith Warrior storyline, Vette doesn’t say “I love you,” she says, “Hey can you take off this shock collar?” which roughly translates to “Hey can you take off this shock collar?”, and I think that’s pretty disgusting.

In the Jedi Consular storyline, Zenith doesn’t say “I love you,” he says, “I trust you,” which roughly translates to, “I love you,” and I die a little inside.

12:10

poussbae:

physicsmagics:

physicsmagics:

hi im a cashew white guy and I’m gonna say a slur to be funny because fuck political correctness

i just realized that autocorrect changed cishet to cashew I’m going to bed

why did I not question “cashew” as a type of white guy tho

12:09
0338 7165 500

agentromanoffsir:

some carrie fisher tweets to brighten your day

12:05
0339 8595 500

babyegg:

Me going about my normal life but I’m cool and strong and protected because I’m a knight

12:05

ohmamadontyoucry:

ohmamadontyoucry:

so the other night i was with friend cop, and i went to give him a hug goodbye, and he turned off his radio (???) and i asked what was up and he said “last time we hugged your shoulder hit my radio and called dispatch” and i thought he meant like, the 911 dispatcher but NO i accidentally radioed every single other officer on shift and they all heard him say “i love you- oh shit my radio’s on”

just gonna add on that there’s a 0% chance the other officers on shift didn’t radio back “omg love you too!!!” or try to figure out who he was talking to and i fell down laughing at this and he sat there with a look on his face that said for the last two days he’d been dealing with a constant “[10 code]” “what’s up” “i love you”

12:04

ohmamadontyoucry:

ohmamadontyoucry:

so the other night i was with friend cop, and i went to give him a hug goodbye, and he turned off his radio (???) and i asked what was up and he said “last time we hugged your shoulder hit my radio and called dispatch” and i thought he meant like, the 911 dispatcher but NO i accidentally radioed every single other officer on shift and they all heard him say “i love you- oh shit my radio’s on”

just gonna add on that there’s a 0% chance the other officers on shift didn’t radio back “omg love you too!!!” or try to figure out who he was talking to and i fell down laughing at this and he sat there with a look on his face that said for the last two days he’d been dealing with a constant “[10 code]” “what’s up” “i love you”

12:02

nobby-art:

bastion-official:

so if generic wizards use wands and staffs to cast spells I’m gonna bring up the idea of modern era magicians using what they can find with a wooden body, like teens picking up baseball bats and 2x4s
imagine just running out of mana or whatever and instead of slinking back you just crack your rune laden bat over a particularly punkish goblin

yall mind if i

12:02

rockboci:

my anxiety yelling at me to do the thing while my depression doesnt wanna

October 11 2017

13:15

probablyengineerrpgideas:

Dungeon Idea: A dungeon that has an internal AC system that can produce different smells to throw off the players. For example:

“You walk into a totally square room. The walls are made of a black rubbery material and the floor is completely metallic. You notice it smells like ozone and electricity as the doors suddenly close behind you. What will you do?”

The smell of ozone will make PC’s think they are in an electric trap but the real trap lies elsewhere. Maybe the walls are sticky and entangle the players because they will go to the rubber because it isn’t an electrical conductor. Maybe a gate opens and a swarm of enemies attack the players because that dropped all their metallic weapons and armor.

Remember, if the creator of the dungeon intended it to have deadly smart traps, then the apparent trap is just a cover for the real trap.

@probablysteampunkrpgideas
@noblecrumpet-dorkvision (what do you think?)
@probablygoodrpgideas
@probablystrangerpgideas

13:14
1606 dfc7 500

oldschoolfrp:

When the DM doesn’t make you track encumbrance (Robert Liebman, Dragon 48, April 1981)

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