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May 21 2018

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everyone in the household uses a different color marker to write on the kitchen whiteboard

But who were they calling a cat



the fact that a post about my cat was the first thing on my dash when i opened this app is so disorienting






It wrinkles my brain that Jupiter’s moon Europa has oceans that are sixty miles deep, while Earth’s oceans only reach seven miles deep at most. I’m willing to bet good money that there’s life in Europa’s oceans. Like five bucks. You hear me, NASA? I bet you five bucks that there’s life on Europa… Now that there’s money and reputation on the line, I bet they send a mission there real quick.

I have no idea when this was originally posted, but NASA is working on their Europa mission RIGHT NOW to look for alien life! But get this, they theorize that because of the depth, gravity, and composition of the oceans, any organisms that lived there would be waaay bigger than aquatic life on Earth. So far everything’s going well with regards to their Europa mission so they should have a spacecraft on its way to look for giant sea monsters in space in only a few years. (The planned date is in the early 2020s.)

Looks like my negotiations worked. You’re welcome, humanity.

I’ve never been gripped with such cold terror and pure delight in my LIFE



Are you a failed math class gay, failed English class gay, or failed science class gay



Pokemon fans 2018: Ugh I HATE people who use computers to add Pokemon into their game it ruins it for the rest of us

Pokemon fans 1999: Raise two Sneasels to level 57 who both have Beat Up as their third move and breed an Egg from them, then clone 5 pokemon by turning off your game during a save make sure the 5th one is corrupted data named ? that you can’t put in the PC because it doesn’t actually exist and will brick your game all so the Egg will hatch into a level 0 Celebi that knows Drill Peck



Ron: do you think Fred and George accidentally swapped names when they were babies and nobody knew and now they have the wrong name

Harry: mate its 4am go to sleep




Harry: its a really good question though like

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this is one of the only times ive ever seen a pallas cat not in a rage state and i am . cherishing this picture.







I’ve come to inform you all the Ancient Greeks spelled Thoth, the Egyptian deity, as Θώθ

hey, thanks! now die

Actually, Ancient Greek thetas had a dot in the centre, and lowercase letters wouldn’t be invented for several hundred years.

You mean ΘΩΘ

Behold the face of your god.





@oliviawildescheekbones and i have been roleplaying meme jeopardy in the group chat and everyone else has gone completely silent 


Things straight people like (as learned from HGTV)


  • Mancaves: This is a room separate from the house with a large entertainment center and sound system, so no one can hear your existential weeping
  • Two Sink Bathrooms: Once your husband finds you rinsing out your Diva Cup, the magic is gone.
  • Hardwood floors that flow throughout the house: This makes it more likely your children will slip while running and maybe die, so you can finally get that divorce.
  • Open Concept Layouts: If no one sees you, what’s the point of pretending to be happy?
  • Office Space: Excellent for privacy while Skypeing with your lover in Belarus, the only person who really understands you. 
  • Walk in Closets: You can keep so many clothes in there, it might take years for someone to find the body.
  • Guest Rooms: In case a friend stays the night.



Once again this whole blog has been brought to you by 



Get used to it!

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The one true ally

sounding more and more like an vampire turned during ww2 with every joke




(Just piggybacking off of this)

BioWare: Lol look how backwards the Avvar are, believing simple spirits are gods! Lets make fun of them and try and correct them every chance we get. What silliness from the Avvar!

BioWare: Hey you know The Stone we’ve introduced but haven’t bothered to really delve into? Let’s do that! There’s actually no such thing just Titans. Dwarves are so silly.

BioWare: The Elven Pantheon? Totally fake they were actually just evil mage overlords and look how silly the Dalish are lol!

BioWare: And we’ve already been pretty clear how wrong the Qun is, right?

BioWare: But that pseudo Christian religion, well that’s up to the player to interpret. 

BioWare: #DragonAgeInquisition 

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Gets funnier every time.

This episode aired in the ‘90′s. This joke has aged like fine wine. Depressing, depressing wine.

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I’ve seen a lot of art of The Seven Birds as actual birds, but what if Hunger had a bird form too?

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So I was rereading Harry Potter, when I came across this and thought- what if instead of Cedric Diggory, Cassius Warrington had been chosen to compete in the Triwizard Tournament?

Imagine Dumbledore calling out the name of the Hogwarts champion and it isn’t a Gryffindor, or a Ravenclaw, or even a Hufflepuff, but it’s a Slytherin. A student from a House most people hate.

Imagine Cassius Warrington getting up, and three out of four Houses are booing at him and shouting things like “NO!” or, “We can’t have a Slytherin champion!” or demanding a retry. But he’s a Slytherin- he’s been dealing with this shit since he got sorted, so he keeps his head high and joins the other champions.

Imagine Harry trying to catch Warrington alone because he doesn’t really want to associate with Slytherins (plus Malfoy has this tendency of being around the guy ALL THE TIME since he got chosen), but at the same time he’s also fair enough not to want him to walk into the first task unprepared.

Imagine Warrington walking over to Harry a few months later, and Ron and Hermione both jump into a protective stance, wands out, but instead of attacking Harry he just tells him to stick the egg underwater. (Because Slytherins don’t forget those who helped them out).

Imagine Warrington and Harry helping each other out in the labyrinth.

Imagine Harry being devastated when Peter kills Warrington- because Voldemort doesn’t care what house they’re form, a spare is a spare.

Imagine the uproar that causes among the Slytherins, because some of their parents really are Death Eaters and they know what really happened.

Imagine Slytherins fighting in the Battle of Hogwarts and shouting “This is for Cassius!”

Imagine Harry returning with Warrington’s body, and the crowd realizes what’s happened, but Warrington’s parents don’t show up. There’s no one to mourn him, to cradle him in their arms and cry for their son. The Slytherins know why. His parents were Death Eaters, too.

Imagine Slytherins reaching out, asking for help from classmates from other houses. They’re terrified, truly terrified because the being their parents claimed would never hurt them because they’re pureblood, they realize that he does not care.

Imagine Slytherins in the 5th book sneaking off to join Dumbledore’s Army, to learn more about who Voldemort is without their parents acting as a filter. 

Imagine the shock when they’re told what he’s really done.

Imagine that a few talented Slytherins went with Harry and the others into the Ministry of Magic. The others are a bit wary but they prove themselves as friends.

Imagine them being confronted by Lucius Malfoy in the the Hall of Prophecy, and when the Death Eaters descend, they know that any one of them could be their parents.

Imagine the shocked gasp of a Death Eater as they realize their own child, a pureblood, is standing defiantly with Harry Potter. They choke back a cry. They can’t let their child know that they were about to duel to the death.

Imagine a DA Slytherin facing off against their own Death Eater parent. That they make the decision to let their child defeat them, because in that moment, they realize that they love their child more than they fear Voldemort. They go down, mask unveiled, and the Slytherin kid has to be dragged from the fight before he gets killed.

Imagine Book 6 Slytherins getting more friendly and cooperative with the other houses. Two years of Voldemort terrorizing the muggle and Wizarding world, two years where their parents just up and leave some days, cringing from the pain in their arm, two years after the death of the first Slytherin pureblood, Cassius Warrington, killed by Voldemort’s right-hand man, and they’re slowly hitting the breaking point.

Imagine Slytherin kids keeping tabs on their parents, sending the information to Harry, who shares it with the Order of the Phoenix, and hoping that their parents won’t be killed.

Imagine Book 7 Slytherins low-key rebelling against the new oppressive Hogwarts staff.

Imagine the final seige on Hogwarts, where Slytherins stand proudly by their fellow houses, knowing full-well they could be fighting their own parents. Some Slytherins know their parents were in the fighting. They hope to find them first and sneak them away. Their fellow students understand. Professor McGonagall allows 7th Year Slytherin, Pansy Parkinson, to duel a death eater in her stead; her father is under that veil. She knows it.

Imagine the aftermath of the battle; every house suffered loses. Slytherin students crying over the deaths of friends they made in every house.

Imagine a Cassius Warrington statue made in his honor, the first Slytherin to fight and die nobly with Harry Potter, the boy who lived, in the face of ultimate evil. He was a true Slytherin, and its in his name that Slytherin children and their families have cut all ties with the Death Eaters, denounced Voldemort, and are finally living in peace.

Edit: I added more for Hufflepuff fans, and you get to read the longer version of this post.

Also, another amazing post by stellaathena

this is amazing

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